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No one is sorry anymore. It’s terrible! I cringe whenever I hear an “apology”. Apologies these days are usually crafted and delivered in a way that offends all over again. Isn’t anyone really sorry? Isn’t regret a thing anymore?
Today, I expressed displeasure with a situation. It seemed that the person I complained to understood and empathized with my frustration… until she said, “I’m sorry you felt that way”. Seriously?? Who coined that phrase? It ranks 3 on my “Top Five Emptiest Phrases List”. It’s the un-apology. It’s a way of saying, I take no responsibility for what I did. I’m not even willing to say I regret doing it. I’m just sorry that you’re such a big baby and are whining about it. Ultimately, the person is saying this is not about me and my behavior. It’s about you and your response to it.
Apologies used to be a way to clear the air. Confess your mistake. Express your regret. Finally, ask for forgiveness and everybody moves on. Now, apologies are meandering monologues that cloud the issue and leave you feeling that somehow you brought the offense on yourself. Stop it. Just say you are sorry.
I’m sorry
I regret what I did
I should not have said that
I apologize
I didn’t meant to hurt you
Don’t casually and indiscriminately toss your apologies. Be sincere. A genuine apology is not demeaning. It’s reaffirming.
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With our thoughts we make the world!
This is good. I agree that apologies often seem empty, maybe our new way of apologizing now just more accurately reveals what we are really feeling ; that we aren’t actually sorry. Perhaps we never were. Perhaps in our new individual centric culture we in large part lost our sense of genuine empathy. Who knows? But, yes this was an interesting read to get us thinking. Good work.
Love the feedback. Please keep it coming.
We work on apologies a *lot* in our house. Finn hates it- he can’t get away with fake apologies, he has to use the form “I’m sorry for______. It was wrong because ______. I won’t do it again. Will you forgive me?” And then he proceeds to do whatever it was again, but at least we get a lot of practice with “real” apologies!
Wow. That’s what goes on in our house. Thanks for sharing! I love it.