THE REMEDY

Life is funny.  Under normal circumstances,  Donald Trump would have been the crotchety guy down the street who always complains about his neighbors, and their kids.  A harmless guy with little self awareness, whom some people tolerate, and others avoid.  The brash talking uncle who is entertaining in small doses; but rarely taken seriously.  Money and power elevated Mr. Trump from that more fitting existence to well known business personality.  The thing is, money and power doesn’t explain Trump’s phenomenal rise to President of the United States. What happened? What is happening?

There are theories floating around, but none are encompassing enough.  Some say Trump supporters are uneducated?  Not true; and irrelevant, because you don’t need an education to know right from wrong.  Are they are angry?  That would explain wanting a change, but not choosing a villain.  Mr. Trump’s rise is extraordinary and inexplicable,  however the question for the ages will not  be about the man, but the unlikely tenacity of his supporters.

The willingness of so many to accept our President’s penchant for lying, not to mention his obvious disdain for a large swath of Americans is fascinating and depressing. This President lies, bullies, advocates violence, is racist, misogynistic and uninformed.  He shows no sign of wanting to be a public servant, but consistently, if not exclusively serves his own interests.  This is notable, because his job is to do the exact opposite.

Trump’s unsuitability for his job is evident.  His most egregious failures are not alleged, but documented.  The problem is, we have lost sight of the big picture.  We spend too much time on the why and how, while forgetting that all we really need to know is the what.  Here’s the what, “He is unfit to be President”.  He is not doing his job, and he and his are damaging our country in ways that will negatively affect our collective way of life for years to come.

At some point, we will all experience some negative effect from the policies advanced over the last two years.  The remedy is to Vote Blue.  We must vote out the people who have shown us repeatedly that their allegiance is not to this country, but to D.T. and their own interests.  They treat the American public like an irritating distraction to be deceived and ignored.  Save your future, and mine.  Make sure you are registered and then go VOTE BLUE.

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A LIE DOES NOT BECOME THE TRUTH (even if you believe it)

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This morning, I told a lie. I was taken aback by how casually the lie tumbled from my lips. I’m not suggesting that I never lie, but in the past, my lies have been delivered with downcast eyes, stilted speech and uncomfortable demeanor. This was different, because the lie was formed spontaneously and spoken without internal wrestling, or pangs of regret. I handled it like a pro. What was going on? I had an “uh oh” moment. It was time to evaluate my commitment to the truth.

We live in a world where the truth isn’t a thing. It’s distorted to suit our needs and whims. The truth is ignored so assiduously, that it only occurs briefly on the edges of our national discourse. The truth can be messy and time consuming. It requires intention, so in our convenience driven world, we abandon it for whatever easy lie will yield self serving results.

I suspect our belief in the value of truth, has been diminished by the fact that we appear to be surviving without it. Think about it. There are scores of leaders who lie to us regularly. I’m not talking about cunning deception, or murky half truths. They dismantle the truth while folding in false parts to create a perverse, new manufactured whole. Without hesitation, these leaders speak bold words that are proven to be lies, mere moments after their words are uttered. Remarkably, when their lies are exposed, very few shrink away in shame. Instead, most are dismissive, then simply double down with more lies! Meanwhile, the rest of us respond with impotent and short lived outrage. This cycle is now so much a part of the fabric of our national discourse, that we barely notice it. We think to blunt the damage of the lies by ignoring them. This is our new normal.

Truth exists on its own. The facts of it, are not impacted by whether we acknowledge it or not. The truth doesn’t change. If a tree falls in the forest, and we don’t hear it, it still fell. The truth is not what we wish, remember or admit. It is, what it is.

The truth is elemental. When we are at our best, we depend on it, and take comfort in it. It gives value to our every thought, feeling or belief. It is the essential element of any worthy endeavor. The truth is precious.

Truth is often hard to hear, hard to live with and inconvenient; but it is reality. That makes it vital, because when we operate in reality there’s a greater chance that those with differing views can enter into reasonable dialogue and seek successful solutions. Difference of opinion that springs from a foundation of truth, is less likely to be the result of self interest, and more likely to yield tenable resolution.

The truth is beautifully simple. We can’t live successfully without it. Fundamental to every value we hold dear, (love, honor, justice…), is the truth. The people I most admire, and the person I most want to be, loves the truth.

I’m reconciling with the truth. I will pursue it, and speak it. I will value it, by setting aside relationships with people who prefer to bury it, rather than deal with it.

My quiet acceptance of the lies that we live with and that propel the decisions that dictate our lives, is officially over. I can’t change the world, but I can stake out my place, and make it clear where I stand. I plan to speak in no uncertain terms about what I know to be true. Join me. The truth doesn’t need us. We need it.

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Mi Crisis Es Su Crisis

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Sitting on the receiving end of love is the easiest thing in the world to do.  Loving unconditionally, however is the most difficult thing to do, consistently.  I’m not talking about “easy love”.  Easy love is our love for kids, spouse, friends and family.  We love our kids.  Why not?  They start out so darn cute and cuddly that we become devoted to their happiness and well being from start to finish. We love the spouse.  Again, big deal.  Why not love the person whose fate is inextricably tied to your own. Marital love/romantic love comes with music to inspire, books to instruct and movies to motivate.  Marital love has a long, built in learning curve to boost its success. Familial relationships and friendships also fall into the “easy love” category.  Easy love is wonderful, but there is so much more required of us.

The amount of information available to help us optimize easy love is inexhaustible, but what of universal love?  Isn’t that where we fail?  Universal love is extended to those we don’t know.  Its motive is the greater good.  It means respecting all of humanity, not just the part that loves us back or appeals on a personal level.   It deserves so much more effort than we give it, because it can transform the world.  Universal love doesn’t revolve around self.  Maybe that’s why it isn’t very popular?

Universal love is easy to manufacture, but we withhold it like misers.  Hoarding love shouldn’t be a thing, but it is.  Miserly withholding of love diminishes it, rather than preserves it.   How do we change?

The first step is to stop elevating perception of a group over the reality of the individual.  People tend to have the same basic needs and desires: beyond that each person is uniquely made.  Show interest in the uniqueness of every person you encounter, and you’ll find his story.  Knowing a person’s story fosters understanding and connection, which are essential components for love.  Approval often follows on the heels of the understanding and connection, but not always.  The good news is that approval is not necessary for love.

Universal love requires operating with a motive that doesn’t factor in self interest.  We must stop thinking of people as a mass of sameness, ascribing values to them based on some malformed impression about *one of the categories they fall in to.  If we refuse to see a person’s individuality, we can’t claim to love them.

Why care about “universal love”?  Our country is experiencing profound upheaval.  I believe it’s our lack of love that’s brought us here.  We have a collective case of self interest on steroids, and it has bred disconnection and division.  We’ve gone to our separate corners to care only about those issues that personally affect us, to the exclusion and detriment of issues that other Americans are facing.  If only for pragmatic reasons, we need to seek each other’s perspective and solve our problems with compassion/love.  This approach will bring new solutions to issues like immigration reform, racism, education reform…not to mention everyone’s favorite whipping dog, The Affordable Care Act!  Lately, the attitude has been,  I don’t care if your home burns down as long as mine is okay.  Guess what?  That doesn’t work, because we live in an apartment building.  Sooner or later, my crisis will become your crisis.

 

* We aren’t just a function of the nationality, gender or religious category we fall into.   We can claim membership to dozens of categories.

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