On Tuesday, I promised myself I would post every Friday.  Already I’ve broken my promise, but it wasn’t my fault.  It was “the wanting”.  I usually get a mild case of it this time of year, but I was overwhelmed with it yesterday.  Naturally there was no time to write…

THE WANTING

It snuck up on me.  A new neighbor asked if I wanted to run out to “a few stores” at 5:00 am on Black Friday.  It sounded spontaneous and adventurous.  I’m a morning person, and at that hour I can get out of the house without questions or requests.   Perfect.  Let’s go!

I grabbed my special shopping debit card and transferred the maximum amount of money I would spend.  I planned to purchase a pair of boots for me, half price Gap jeans for my husband and son and leggings for my daughter.  Just things that we need, at a deep discount.  What could go wrong?  Let’s go!

Our first stop was Starbucks.  I had every intention of ordering green tea, but what I received was a grande Caramel Brûlée or something similar.  It was delicious and so satisfying.  That indulgence was the beginning of “the wanting”.  It was wonderful and terrible.  My companion and I were like machines.  We just kept going.  The discount signs beckoned and we were willing to follow.  Restraint was gone.  I started to want and see possibility in everything.  By the time we were done, I had gorged myself at “Auntie Annie’s”, bought lipsticks that don’t make me look half as good at home as they did in the store (not on sale), boots that hurt my feet, perfume (cause I don’t have enough of that), sweaters, pajamas and the pre planned jeans and leggings.  I would have kept going, but instead I was jolted out of the madness on a note of humiliation.

Remember, my shopping debit card with the specific amount ?   It turns out the running total I was keeping in my head was off, so my card was declined in front of my new neighbor and dozens of onlookers.  I was mortified.  I thought about using my phone to transfer more money, but I knew it would have been more to save face than for any pragmatic desire for that stuff.  So I rejected my neighbor’s kind offer to loan me the money, endured the irritated sighs of the people behind me and walked away.  Guess what?  ”The wanting” was gone.

Beware “the wanting“.  Anyone can get it.  We moved into a new house last summer.  “The wanting” had us replacing old stuff that mysteriously was no longer good enough.  With effort, we came to our senses and became completely satisfied merging the old with the new.

“The wanting” is a thing.  It doesn’t spring from practical need or assessment.  It feeds on a subconscious belief that things bring happiness.  The way to prevent “the wanting” from getting out of hand is to pursue contentment.  Contentment inoculates against wanting.

I don’t deny there is gratification in the purchase of things.  Just don’t forget, too often that gratification doesn’t last even as long as it takes to get home.

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