In our world, children feel compelled to curate an identity ready made for public consumption. As a result, much of their work regarding self identity is for the primary purpose of gaining approval from people they will never meet. This shaky proposition; dependent on the constant wavering opinion of others, will never be a satisfying way to have one’s sense of self validated. In fact, our students’ excessive reliance on social media for their world view is contributing to stress, which may be a factor in the increased number of minors, who suffer with anxiety and depression.

The proliferation of electronics, video games and social media has drastically changed the landscape in which our youngest generation is being raised.  Today’s student considers technology to be as much a part of life, as the air he breathes. Meanwhile, with each new technological advance, parents and educators become more wary of the power it exerts, and the negative effects of that power.

As the role of technology takes a larger space in our lives, we must find ways to be larger stakeholders in our children’s social and emotional development. Partnering traditional studies with instruction that will help our fast paced, multi-tasking kids cultivate a deeper sense of their own identity, can fill the gaps. Yep, to tip the scales, we have to teach kids about their own humanity.

Self identity ownership(SIO), is the act of being protective of one’s authentic identity. SIO requires the individual to take time to know herself as she is; while simultaneously being intentional about who she will become.  The need to teach SIO was not critical before we had the power of social media to judge us, and algorithms to moderate who we are; but in this brave, new world we must be intentional about self identity. Otherwise, our kids will be lost to themselves, and susceptible to adopting the identity, others seek to impose on them.

Career and educational goals are only a small part of SIO, because traditional schools are making tremendous strides on that front. SIO emphasis is on the cultivation of character, personal strength, self esteem and interests that are self motivated; without undue consideration for what is popular or esteemed by others. SIO teaches the importance of valuing one’s unique identity first, then finding a comfortable place in the larger community.

The objective is to have our kids reflect more often, about every possible aspect of identity. Identity as it relates to character, religion, ethnicity, education, socio economic status, gender, personal interests, etc. The premise being that stability, confidence, self esteem, and even success stem from a place of self knowledge, and contentment with that knowledge.

As we urge students to cultivate their authentic identity, self knowledge will be valued over the perceptions of others. Our kids will make decisions based on personal values and critical thinking, instead of being constrained by what  others think.  Intentionally teaching our kids to place the highest value on self perception, will help them stay grounded as they navigate their way through our ever increasing digital world.

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